Lappy's Life

Its time to say bye bye ...

2006-05-08T22:06:00.000+01:00

Well, thats it folks, I am throwing in the towel ... I've had it, I've had enough of this ... Ok, not really, I was lying ... my blog has now moved to here. Its all pretty much imported, I just need to do a few more things to it. See you at my new location, thats, http://lappy.info/life, update your favourites ... bye!

What a Response!

2006-05-04T12:51:00.000+01:00

Wow, I finally post and I am fed back with 5 comments (not including my own), what nice people you are! Ok, I did prompt 3 of you that I had finally updated, but still it was a nice suprise!

Anyway, I come with an idea! (Claps in background -Ed) I am considering over time, to get all of the UK Number One singles on my iPod! But I need help, in the region of £800! I have a lot of singles, and obviously some will of made it to number one but I am still going to need to buy a boat load! I am finally going to get my website started properly with the full details, get a paypal account setup and start buying! Will you help me? I need your support (and 79p's for iTunes) and also I need the word to be spread, to help me achieve this quest! I will start on the website later when I get in.
Please send your comments of support and spread the word, website to follow very shortly!

What to say?

2006-05-03T13:10:00.000+01:00

Its been over a month of no posts! Having recently received numerous complaints (2 or 3 -Ed), I have decided to update my blog ...

But what do I say?! Surely, you are all fed up of my work related moans by now? I need some audience participation here now!

Please comment with suggestions, help me out of my writers block!

I love my manager!

2006-03-30T22:40:00.000+01:00

Woke up this morning, late. Flew round the house to get ready, but no time for a shave and I was starting to look like David Bellamy! (Ok he's being silly! ... can't spell that word that starts Ex.... you know the word I mean, but I know Mrs E. gets a good chuckle out of my spelling. So how do you spell it brain box? -Ed)

(Get to the point! -Ed) ... So I left for work needing a shave. This drives my manager up the wall! Such comments as:

"What about my customers" or "Forgot to shave today have we?" etc. Now, as we don't see customers (or on the rare occasion we do), why do we need to shave? "Well, I'm one of your customers" she'll say! So instead of lying, I decided to take my shaving stuff with me, and I had a shave before I started work! Why should I be made to feel an idiot if I don't shave one day? Its almost as bad as not being able to take our ties off in the summer, whilst she is walking round with her blouse on and the top 2 buttons undone! Not being sexist (He is! -Ed) but why do women have less formal dress code than us men?! It sucks, it really does! I love my boss! (No sarcasim intended? -Ed)

On a postive note, are you all pleased I've posted twice in one week? A friend (Carlos -Ed) was saying he read somewhere that the blogs that get read most often are updated daily! Daily! I can't promise that but maybe 2 or 3 posts a week ... the next post is after the weekend, after my brother gets married! (Hip hip horray -Ed)

Simple Stats

2006-03-27T20:40:00.000+01:00

More complaints cos I haven't updated my blog, but its simply knowing what to write. (Dam you Mr Johnson -Ed)

Just a small one today (its cold -Ed). I will amaze you with my knowledge of simple stats and probability. I was having a discussion with my brother in law over the weekend over stats. Winning the lottery is supposed to be something like 14,000,000 to 1. I tell you, thats utter rubbish, you have a 50/50 chance of winning. Either you win the big one, or you don't!

Giving birth to twins is quite unlikely too apparently. Ideally you need a history of twins in your family for it to happen ... rubbish! You will either have twins, or you won't! I am sure the first family in the world thought that ... till 2 popped out her ... her ... her ... bits!

The chances of rolling a 6 on dice ... again 50/50, you will get a 6 or you won't! Der!

As you can see, stats don't have to be hard, they can be real easy!

Getting married!

2006-03-12T21:52:00.000Z

Not me people, I am already married (4 years in June -Ed) but my brother is finally tying the knot! He is getting wed on the 1st April (No really he is-Ed) on his fiancee, Claire's 30th birthday! Now me, I think he is being a bit of a tight arse. For years to come he can make do with the joint birthday present/wedding anniversary present on the same day. Just looking on the list of the meanings for different years on the Confetti site, I would say Claire's luck is in for their 3rd year of marriage ... I mean after all, Mark can buy her a new leather something. (Maybe a new purse or ... -Ed)

Saturday saw their respective hen and stag days. While we were playing 10 pin bowling, which wasn't too bad, all the girlies were having a pampering session, care of their generous husbands, partners, lovers paying for them. And did they look any different ... Not gonna say a word!

In the evening, we all met up and went to Ask in Warwick about 5 minutes walk from where they plan to get married. The meal was quite nice, but I am just looking forward to the grub on the big day! I promise not to get too drunk on the day ... April Fools!

The Happy couple, Mark and Claire, with his best man Justyn and wife, Liz (and how did his wife get in the background, poser! -Ed)

Passports please!

2006-03-09T20:35:00.000Z

Due to certain people winging I haven't updated my blog in a while (you know who you are - Ed) here goes with an update ...

We are off to Romania at the end of May for a friends wedding and for a while I have been meaning to get my passport renewed for a while as it "died" last August. After completing the form in my bestest handwriting I took it to my work and getting my manager to authorise the form and photographs seeing as she is an "upstanding citizen" (Yea right! -Ed). After completing the form for me, she realised that she needed to give her passport number, which she didn't have on her, and which she forgot 5 days running ... grrr!

Anyway, finally she got me the number and I decided to get it sent off as soon as possible. I went to Post Office 1. After hanging about in there for 20 minutes while one girl working there was yawning her head off and the other asian girl, looking mean! Finally it was my turn "Cashier number 2 please". I got the grumpy one! Looking back quickly, I realised that the queue had got even longer, it was basically out the door! I got to the counter and asked whether or not they did the "check and send" service. "Yes we do", said the grumpy mare! Passing her the form, my old passport and photographs she quickly went for my photos. "Your smiling, there is supposed to be no facial expression"! Grabbing my stuff quickly, I left ... am I smiling?! Am I hell!

(Ain't he cute?! -Ed's wife)

Having got back to work, I was pretty annoyed ... I wasted half hour of my lunch break to be told I was smiling. Ok, maybe I have a slight grin on my face, but what annoyed me was this ...

and get this guy ...

I ask you ... what are these people doing? Particuarly the man ... SMILING! Grrr ... and this comes direct from the passport office website! It made me so mad, then I realised, the woman couldn't be bothered to check my passport, as the queue was out the door and sleepy head next to her was virtually unconscience!

So, after work I went to Post Office 2 ... no one behind me, as they have a sepereate area for passports, "Cashier number 5 please" ... went up, and was a little nervous ... just in case I got a repeat performance from lunchtime I brought the official leaflet from the passport agency with me ... she checked all my details for around 5-10 minutes then wanted payment and nothing was wrong!

Conclusion: Don't go to Post Office 1 in your lunch hour. If you must, don't see grumpy!

To top my day off, I just missed the train at the station and then had to wait over half hour for my bus home from the station in the rain! ... what a great day!

Virus checkers (and Mcafee, what idiots!)

2006-03-01T14:12:00.000Z

A post for all my techie mates out there ... Virus checkers? Which one do you use?

Up until last night, I was using Mcafee Virus checker. It told me my virus defintions were out of date and I needed to renew my subscriptions. I went, like a good honest person to buy them, and it came back telling me that my software was too old and I needed to upgrade! How annoyed was I?! For a second or two I thought about jumping ship and dumping Mcafee, but then I read the reviews of Norton on Amazon, and changed my mind.

Who do you use for checking viruses/firewall? Before you mention Mr E. I won't be touching AVG with a barge pole, it failed to spot stuff on my computer before ...

What are you going to give up?

2006-02-28T13:32:00.000Z

Today is "Pancake Day" or to give it its correct name, "Shrove Tuesday". Today is the day when Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days (not literal days, it is just a term used in the Bible to signfy "a long period of time" -Ed). Normally at this time of year as lent people give up things they enjoy ... haven't decided yet what I am going to give up, but will try and give something up! (Maybe work? -Ed)

Speaking of pancakes, that reminds me of a stupid joke ...

An englishman, a scottishman and irishman are in the pub chatting. The englishman being very proud speaks up, "I am very proud of my boy, born on 23rd April, we called him George." The scottishman not wanting to be out done say, "Aye that is a coincidence ... my boy was born on St Andrew's day, we called him Andrew" ... The irishman buts in quickly "eeh by Jesus, the same with my boy Pancake". (Cue: Canned laughter -Ed)

So what will you have with your pancakes later? I'll be thinking of you all as you toss one out! (oooh matron -Kenneth Williams' Ed)

Flippin' Mental!

London - with no underground

2006-02-27T13:59:00.000Z

Having spent the weekend in London, I didn't spot a single tube train! Maybe this was because I was in South East London (Catford) but nevertheless, I didn't see a single train. But why are people in London so rude?! I ordered some food in a bowling alley in Lewisham, I was told by some guy muttering under his breath "I'll bring it over" ... yea like heck you did!? I had to go and ask for it, and it was freezin' by the time I got it ... I couldn't be bothered to get them warmed up, in case they spat on it or something!

Some good news does come out of London though. My inspiration to this whole blog lark comes from Geoff and I have reliable information to point out he is engaged! Congratulations me fellow tube nerd cock-a-sparrow mucker ...

Sorry for the boring post but I don't know what to say and I am getting grief from a guy at work for not updating this ... so there!

Toilet Training

2006-02-22T12:51:00.000Z

Women and toilets, they're obsessed! Last night whilst taking a piss, I was accused of making a mess! Everytime I go to toilet (well most times -Ed) I check to make the toilet seat is up, check. Make sure my flies are undone before commencing, check. After finishing I flush the toilet and put the seat down, check. Upon finishing last night, I get the second degree from Rebekah for "backsplash". For crying out loud, of course a little of my urine might bounce off the water and onto the floor but women and their selr-righteous attitude, "I never do that" ... well of course not woman, your butt is in the way and so any "backsplash" that you create is splashed back on your butt!

It comes to something when Rebekah suggested, as we are a two toilet household (Posh we are! -Ed) that she should use one, and me the other and we can have an inspection in a week's time!

Women ... grrr ... give me strength!

On a simular subject, my blog at work is referred to as "Lappy's Log" ... I was thinking of taking a photo of one of my logs (You all know what one is, right? -Ed) and publishing it on here ... Feedback?

Love is in the air

2006-02-14T12:10:00.000Z

Kind of predictable really! Today being Valentines Day I thought I would have a lovey dovey post! Personally, I think the day is over-rated and just a chance for children and teenagers to give and exchange cards! I have sent quite a few cards in my time (3 to be exact -Ed) and I wonder if they ever sussed it was me. 2 girls from Sunday School (1 is definately married, the other has a child and I think she is married) the other was a girl from school I don't know where she is or what she is doing but again she has child too ... Hi ladies! (Should I give out their names on here ... what do you reckon?)

But now I am happily married, I can't believe its 4 years in the summer ... as a useless stat. for you all, I have been married for 1340 days and been with Rebekah for 1798 days (awww sweet -Ed)

Tell me about your childhood sweethearts ... I'm interested ... and nosey! (Come on Mrs E. no more lurking, post a comment, don't be shy! -Ed)

Incidently, I have wrote the whole of this post with my left hand, hoping you won't recognise my handwrtiting (Typing surely? -Ed)

It might not be you!

2006-02-10T13:05:00.000Z

An interesting conversatation at work today ... Is the lottery fixed? I did used to think that, but forgotten about till now ... Let's look at the bigger picture ... those boys at Camelot can tell where the winning ticket for the lottery was bought. I assume, they just type in the winning numbers into a computer and up pops the computer saying where the winning ticket was bought ... so could the opposite be true? Could it be typed into a computer to find out which combinations of tickets had not been bought and therefore, could the result be rigged? I wonder ... maybe I am talking out my bottom here, but I am inclined to believe the lottery is one big con!

It might not be you! Or Could it ... ?

How far will it go?

2006-02-04T22:16:00.000Z

Another original post coming up! People tell me that I am a nerd or geek or point out that I spend far too much time on the computer ... well, maybe I do (Yup -Ed) ... so lets try a little experiment! I have just downloaded an odometer program, so I can see how far my mouse travels! I am going to monitor it for a year and see how far I travel ... any provisional bets on an estimate? Could be a prize in the offering ... Bear in mind, I won't be moving my mouse erraticly, just what I'd normally do when using the PC ... see you in a year! Well, not a literal year cos I will be blogging again soon - What I mean is with the results ... Mileage update coming soon! (I hope his mouse has enough petrol! -Ed)

What's for lunch?

2006-02-03T12:09:00.000Z

Just a small one today (Maybe its the weather? -Ed). Whilst waiting in one of my favourite shops for lunch today, Baguette du Monde some lady in front of me asked for a "Chicken sandwich" ... Its a baguette shop for crying out loud ... is it called Sandwich du Monde?! I ask thee ... As an aside, my Jamacian Jerk Chicken baguette is lurvley!

A debate at work ...

2006-02-01T18:23:00.000Z

Back again! Now, I need to settle a debate with a work friend ... what colour is Mr Bean's car? If you can't remember, what his car looks like, have a look ...

Yellow or Green?

I think what colour, my friend thinks another ... one of us thinks yellow, and one of us thinks green? What do you think? Please comment, I am begging you ... I could win a £5iver here!

Hello up there - Can you see me?

2006-01-31T08:35:00.000Z

The Internet is an interesting place. So much infomation available at the click of a button, most of it being free too. I came accross Google Maps which have proved to be no end of fun. You can get directions, road names and even satellite arial photographs of your house! We've had hours of fun at work on it ... look what I found ...

The house with the arrow, is my house. (I wonder if he is on the bus going past? -Ed) But this got me thinking ... if this sort of technology is avaiable in the public domain, what can the goverment see? Can they see me typing this? A friend of mine was telling me that he "...strongly believes that someone in America is hiding Osama Bin Laden." I think he could be on to something!

Anyone, have fun with the maps and arial photographs, and see what you can see!

Another week over

2006-01-28T21:19:00.000Z

Work is over for another 2 days, which is great! Back to work on Monday, starting at 8 though ... why can't we have 2 day weeks and 5 day weekenders? Oh well, I guess I shouldn't complain, I mean at least I have a job! Two things: We (me and my work) didn't win the euromillions so its back to work on Monday and 2), the new site is coming along. Just want to thank Ben for all his hard efforts! By way of recogonition, its a link to his "interesting" blog. Hoping to launch the new site soon ...

New beginnings

2006-01-25T13:28:00.000Z

Just to let you know that my blog might go quiet for a few days. This is just a temporary issue as I am working on my new and better blog. As you know, I couldn't buy the lappy.net domain. However, I have bought another domain ... watch this space ...

One small step for technology

2006-01-21T08:30:00.000Z

I was going to sit here and moan about work (sorry to disapoint Dave! -Ed) but I thought I would suggest something I was thinking of the other day. Only the other day I went past a camera shop and noticed a rechargable battery thingy wotsit that can supposedly charge batteries in 15 minutes! Now, I remember the charger my Dad had when I was a kid, this took a stagering 22 hours! So this means in the space of about 10 years they have improved technology to charge batteries 88 times quicker! However, back to my main point ... Did man really make it to the moon? Back in the early 70's home computers were being made to play pong, and lets face it, the computer would have been pretty low spec! I can't find the spec. for the computer, but lets face it, it wouldn't have been more than a 1k, possibly 2k computer at the very most working at maybe 1mhz? (If that -Ed) So, how on earth did they get man to the moon, and back safetly in '69? Kids weren't even playing pong at home at this stage! Our computers at work are rubbish! For example, everytime you want to change the printer and print from another, or change font, the network takes a month of Sunday's to reflect this change. Bear in mind, the technology we are using a pretty much state of the art! So, how on earth did they keep in touch with Armstrong, Aldrin and the other guys nearly 37 years ago? Nope, I'm sorry I don't believe it, I believe the conspiracies and all their other theories!

What do you think?

Neil Armstrong seen coming out his loft fetching his Atari to play pong!

Another new colour scheme!

2006-01-19T13:41:00.000Z

Due to a customer complaint (Mainly Nige -Ed) it has been necessary to change my colour scheme! I hope you like the new look ... Had an interesting theory earlier ... watch this space ... Oh yea and before I forget ... lappy.net is coming soon! (The new home for my blog) UPDATE: 14.36 Just looking online at work and someone has taken lappy.net within the last week ... Doh. that'll teach me! Oh well, back to the drawing board ...

A new colo(u)r scheme

2006-01-17T12:55:00.000Z

Welcome to the new colour scheme, I hope you like it. I felt my blog needed a change! Whilst on the subject of colour, why do we spell it colour and the Americans spell it color? Of course there is the other words too, none come to mind when I write this, but why the difference in spelling? We both speak English, so why the difference in spelling? What words do the Americans spell different anyway? Comment away ...

Bargain Shopping!

2006-01-15T22:04:00.000Z

By way of introduction, I should tell you that my mother in law, Sally, is the queen of finding bargains! Anyway, enough of her, lets talk about my favourite subject, me me me! Today we had to go to Sainsburys to pick up a few odds and sods. Whilst walking round I spotted 2 packets of hot cross buns (Easter already, bleeding hell -Ed). As they had a price reduction on them, down to 20p a packet, I picked them both up. Anyway, got to the till and found they had a special offer on. If you bought 2 packets, they gave you 38p off ... we got this even on ours after the reduction! So it turns out, we got them for a penny a packet! 6 hot cross buns for a penny, thats .16 of a penny each! Check out the receipt, have a look ...

Can anyone beat this bargain?

Underwear

2006-01-10T21:30:00.000Z

"What colour underwear are you wearing"? That was the topic of conversation this afternoon at work! Some kids (well, we assume kids) had phoned the Bank twice asking Jan and Maria, "What colour underwear are you wearing"? Me being me, I did try and make a joke of it to my boss, saying that my mobile had been playing up and I really shouldn't be phoning work in my lunch hour, to which her response was, "This isn't a joking matter Mr Leonard" and if we were to get any more calls, "We should report them"! Yea, like the Police give a monkies about our crank calls! Personally, I reckon she was put out cos the never phoned her! I wonder what colour she was wearing anyway? (Maybe she had gone to work commando! -Ed)

"Are these yours?"

Moan Time

2006-01-07T20:22:00.000Z

The other night whilst at the bus stop waiting to get home from work, one of my all time annoyances bugged me! Blind people! Ok, that's a little harsh ... let me begin ... Rebekah, my nearest and dearest (His missus! -Ed) is Deaf as you may or may not know and when she goes into a shop, or out about, no one seems to bother to help her if she needs it. The shop assistants look clueless as if they have never met a Deaf person before! I recently found out that BSL (British Sign Language) is the 2nd most popular night school class (Next to learning First Aid -Ed) so why is it no one in a customer services job can be bothered to learn it?! To top it all off, when a blind person is around people are only too happy to help him or her across the road, or to tell them which bus has just arrived (like the blind man the other night). Folk in wheelchairs, have shops in a flap to build a ramp so the person can enter the shop. Yet no one in customer services can be bummed to learn Sign Language and get all in a flat spin when a Deaf person is around! Come on now, its not hard to learn, its basically miming! It makes me so angry that everything appears to be "sorted" for a blind person or someone in a 'chair but nowt for Deaf people. Maybe I am biased cos of Rebekah, I dunno, it just gets right on my tits! Its not that I mind helping Rebekah if need be, but surely this also the responsiblity of the shop/service too ... arrrgghh! On that note, if you want to learn Sign Language, contact your local college for the many night school classes on offer or contact CACDP (Council for the Advancement in Communication with Deaf People) direct.

Another day, another blogger

2006-01-05T21:14:00.000Z

Just a quickie today (ooh err missus! -Ed). As mentioned on a previous post, I've got another friend blogging. It's Nige, the birthday boy, the guy I named and shamed. If you didn't see it, check out this day's blog. Anyway, here's his blog. I've also added it to the side bar. Laters ...

Another fine day in Gotham City

2006-01-03T22:23:00.000Z

Well, today marked my return back to work after the Christmas and New Year's holidays. It wasn't too bad, although I was on the early shift! I got to work and found a box of Thornton's Chocolates on my desk. After checking my emails, it was a goodwill gesture from the top cheeses at work to say thanks for all our efforts of 2005! (ahh...they do care after all -Ed) Not wanting to be a pig, I decided to share them with a group of folk from the Church earlier at a meeting.

mmm ... free chocolate!

And finally, (Horrah! -Ed) I have got another friend blogging! I can' t reveal this person's identity just yet but watch this space ... So far the blog is looking very promising!

2005 nearly over already(!)

2005-12-31T17:58:00.000Z

Wow, what a year! Loads of good things have happened, and I guess loads of rubbish stuff too. This time last year, we were preparing to go to Australia and the Deaflympics. What am I preparing for now? A new year undoubtly brings New Year Resolutions. The one that I keep mulling over is the need to read my Bible more. Compared to even six months I go, I do read more, but is it enough? No! I need to read more, learn more "stuff" and get more clued into God and His desires for me. Moving on, I am considering getting my own domain, moving all this blog and other stuff with it. Any thoughts on my logo below?

lappy.net

I need to give it some more thought though, of what other things to include. I have one or two ideas, but nothing concrete yet. Well, anyway, have a good evening, I wish you all a Happy New Year and I will try and post more reguarly on here too!

What a Christmas and an half!

2005-12-26T20:29:00.000Z

As the subject line suggests, what a Christmas indeed! Saturday evening (Christmas Eve), my sister in law's mother falls down the stairs and knocks her self unconscience! Eventually coming round she and my brother in law spent their Christmas Eve till 2 in the morning in casualty at Selly Oak hospital! After superglueing half of her ear back on they send her home. Yeterday, Christmas Day, we went to my folks and the others to Rebekah's parents. Barbara was there too but in a lot of pain. When everyone finally left their place, Barbara was in extreme pain. Every hour she needed the toilet, and good old Paul had to help her, hour after hour, pulling her up cos she badly bashed her knee in the process! Today, they went back to hospital as they were advised to, and found out that she has now fractured her shoulder, the same shoulder Paul was using to pull her up with to go to the toilet! Thankfully now though, she is in hospital where she should be able to get some rest! (And Paul and San. too) To top it all off, as my in laws were all set to leave our place their car wouldn't start! Asking next door if he could jump start us, that was a no, so we helped push the car down the hill hoping it would start, er no! About 45 minutes later and the AA turned up (the car people, not the alcholic crowd -Ed) and to cut a long story short (too late -Ed) the alternator has gone!

An alternator of some description! - Good ol' Google Images!

So far our Christmas has gone great! Things always come in three's, what is next?! Oh some good news, my old Sign Language teacher, Ruth, has gotten engaged! (Hooray! -Ed)

Happy Christmas one an' all

2005-12-25T14:04:00.000Z

Well, Christmas is here! (Finally! -Ed) In little under one hour the queen will be rattling away on her yearly speech! Yip-e-dar! Anyway, before I rush off, I have some exciting news ... We have a winner! Congratulations go out to Mrs Suzanne Hansford, Cheltenham for winning the Christmas Tree of the Year 2005! An exciting prize will be on its way shortly, although I will be taking a photograph of you for commercial reasons (and because he fancies her -Ed) Here is the tree ... Congratulations again Suzanne and I hope you enjoy your first Christmas as a married woman! Don't get too drunk now! ;-) Happy Christmas one an' all ... back soon!

Game Over!

2005-12-22T00:01:00.000Z

Place your bets now please! Place your votes in the comments so everyone can see real time results. Remember you can't vote for your own tree and you are only allowed one vote! People with multiple email addresses I am watching you especially! Closing date for all votes is Saturday 24th December 23.59

Christmas Tree of the Year 2005 - Tree's 4 & 5 (Two more trees)

2005-12-21T23:37:00.000Z

Well, with 23 minutes to go on the competition here are two late entrants for the competition. Firstly Mrs H's tree:mmm ... its a bit on the titchy side (and the tree -Ed) but nevertheless, a good effort. Now, below is my tree. For the first time in four years we decided to go artficial, only because of the cat and the mess the thing makes (oh and because Mr E loves running round the living room sniffing the tree -Ed) On that note, Mr E is off to Canada for Christmas (you might be allowed to submit a late photograph of your grandmother's tree when you get there!)

Christmas Tree of the Year 2005 - Tree 3 (A tree for me!)

2005-12-21T12:30:00.000Z

Finally, an outside entrant for my competition! Success! Ok, it isn't Mrs H's tree but she did take the troulbe to take the photo, so it can join the competition! Vote for it if you like or submit your own tree between now and midnight!

Gay Weddings ... mmm

2005-12-20T13:04:00.000Z

Gay marriages became legal in Northern Ireland yesterday, Scotland today and England and Wales tomorrow. Its not that I am homophobic, but is this sort of thing, "right"? I don't really have much to say on the matter 'cept for the fact that God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! Grrr ... makes me mad!

Elton John and David Furniss (poised to get married tomorrow!)

All the gay priests too, are they just missing the point by a million miles?! Riping the pages out of their Bibles that they preach from every week making it "ok" to be gay and work for God thinking its ok. Well its not! Why are people watering down the gospel to suit their needs?! It just angers me! ... Anyway, on a nice note, its nearly Christmas! I have two more trees to place in the competition, my home one and one contributed by a friend. She promised to send me the photo later! (Thanks Mrs H! -Ed) Hope you have a good first Christmas as a married woman! And where's your tree Miss B? One day to go remember!

Welcome Sheryl to the bloggin' world!

2005-12-15T13:48:00.000Z

Just a quick advertising plug for a friend! Sheryl has just started (ooh err -Ed) her blog! Only one post is up so far, but its a start, and she's promised me that she'll enter my competition, even though I am still waiting for her photo! Check out her blog now ...

Christmas Tree of the Year 2005 - Tree 2 (The WSB Tree)

2005-12-14T13:06:00.000Z

Well, as you all still haven't sent me a photo of your trees, yet again I am forced to take the initiative! At work, we finally have our tree up! This morning Carl and myself were allowed free reign of the Bank's budget to get some new decorations! We were allowed the whopping sum of £30.00!! In total we spent £22.98! ("Didn't they do well?! -Bruce Forsyth's Ed) We went to Primark, Woolworths and Poundland! We even resisted the temptation to ask how much things cost in Poundland!! (If only everything in life was a pound! -Ed) So, what do you all reckon to our work's tree? Take a look ... comments please!

Christmas Time at Wesleyan Savings Bank! (and say hello to Elaine!)

30 days have September ...

2005-12-07T23:55:00.000Z

Un-related to the Christmas post, I thought I would post something different (seeing as you are all scrooges and don't have your trees up yet! ... oh 'cept Miss B! -Ed) I was busy working away on some calendar idea my mother in law has roped me into doing for her (cos he loves her apparently -Ed) and Rebekah asked the question, "Why do we have leap years"? Being a nerd I knew the answer, 365.25 days for the sun to go round the earth hence the extra day. But what we were discussing is this, if someone was born on the 29th February, how old does the law actually see them? I had a good friend from junior school, and part of secondary school (John, where are you these days? -Ed) and he was born on 29/02/1980, so how old do the police see him? I also remember he used to celebrate his birthday (No offence JW's -Ed) on the 1st March. Brain box here (aka "the wife") has just asked, why didn't he celebrate his birthday on the 28th February "to keep it in the same month"? ... I dunno! She also wants to know, when it is a leap year (roll on 2008 -Ed) will he have 2 birthdays like the queen? One on the 29th February and one on the 1st March? On a simular subject, I was reciting "30 days have September ..." to her, which she had never heard before. But it reminds me of one my earliest childhood memories, I remember writing the verse in top infants, I guess I was 5 or 6 and for some reason I wrote "...except for February alone which has twenty eight days and twenty pine each leap year". Don't ask me why I wrote that, I guess its just the way Mrs Hawkes (God Bless her -Ed) wrote it on the board. What was your earliest childhood memory? And how old is John?

Christmas Tree of the Year 2005 - Tree 1

2005-12-06T21:38:00.000Z

Well, seeing as no one as yet sent me a photo of their tree, I thought I would take the initiave...

Tree Number One - My work's last year effort!

Ok, well that isn't my tree, well it is kinda ... that is my work's last year tree that we've decided to dump in favour of a new tree and some new decorations, "but not from the pound shop"! So, hopefully, we'll go up market and get a nice fancy tree! So come on guys get your tree's emailed to me. "Here's our Graham with a quick reminder" of the rules:

You must either give me a photo personally (If you don't have a digital camera) of your decorated Christmas tree (I will scan the photo and return it if needed) or if you choose to email the photo 2 photos! Remember, no cheating or stealing images from the Internet, so I want one photo of you with the tree and one without you, so everyone can see the tree in all its glorly
Email your competition trees to the specially setup email address: cmastreecomp@googlemail.com (Thanks Google Mail!)
The closing date for all emails/entrants is 21st December 2005 at 23.59
From the 22nd December 0.00 - 24th December 23.59 email the competition line (cmastreecomp@googlemail.com) with your vote of the best decorated tree. Remember you can't vote for your own tree and you are only allowed one vote! People with multiple email addresses I am watching you especially!
The judges decision is final!

So come on, send me your trees!

I'm back ... With an idea!

2005-12-03T23:52:00.000Z

Well, first of all I would really like to say sorry to you all because I have been a bit slack on the old blogging front! Truth be told like I said on a previous post, I have been stressed a bit with my Open Uni course, and with "stuff" generally. However I digress ... I come with good news! After emailing an old school friend on Friday I had a thought of an idea! (Did it hurt? -Ed). As Christmas is little over 3 weeks away, I thought of the "Best Decorated Christmas Tree of the Year 2005"! There is even a little prize thrown in for added incentive value! So, here are the rules:

You must either give me a photo personally (If you don't have a digital camera) of your decorated Christmas tree (I will scan the photo and return it if needed) or if you choose to email the photo (taken with your digital camera -Ed) then I will require 2 photos! One of your tree looking beautiful, and one with you standing next to it! (I don't want any cheating and just grabbing photos from Google!)
Email your trees to: cmastreecomp@googlemail.com
Closing date for all emails/entrants is 21st December 2005 at 23.59
From the 22nd December 0.00 - 24th December 23.59 email the competition line (cmastreecomp@googlemail.com) with your vote of the best decorated tree. However, you can't vote for your own tree and you are only allowed one vote! People with multiple email addresses I am watching you especially! (Yes he means you Nige! -Ed)
The judges decision is final! (So there! -Ed)

Don't forget to tell your friends about it too! They can enter and vote too! So there, you have it ... get entering! As and when I receive pictures of folk's trees I will post them as a new message ... keep checking the blog!

Sorry...

2005-12-02T07:46:00.000Z

Just a quick appology (I think he means it -Ed) because I haven't been posted recently. The reasons being:

Stress from my Open Uni course
Nothing excited to blog about, so why bore you?! (I thought he did that anyway! -Ed)

I promise I will come back and inspire you all soon, just as soon as I get something to say!

For all you baby lovers out there ...

2005-11-14T23:05:00.000Z

Almost forgot, 10.45am this morning marked a special day in my cousin's life...

Meet Daniel, my cousin's 2nd boy ... (Isn't he cute -Ed)

Poor old Gill (and her husband Rob), all those sleepless nights ... but I am sure it'll be worth it!

Its my birthday again!

2005-11-14T22:52:00.000Z

Why is work so dam annoying? Had a great day, apart from two little annoyances, in word I'll call it "management". Firstly ... I was asked to remove a photo from my London trip from backdrop of my work's computer. I can have a photo of my wife or my cat, but not Geoff or Pete! Thinking about it after I got told, Rebekah is my friend, Geoff is my friend, Pete is my friend, but because they are holding a sign in Paddington station, I can't have it! Thats rant number one ... Number two ... I was waiting for the scanner to warm up and briefly spoke to a collegue with that my manager walked past, tapped me on the head with a piece of paper (GBH! -Ed) and said, "are we going to get some work done Mr Leonard?" ... For goodness sake woman, I can't do nothing the scanner is warming up ... geeze! What a crap day!!!

Its my birthday again, but the wrong day! - When's your birthday? Check out Born on the Same Day.co.uk

Geoff Update: Decided to take the word authorisation of my comments bit ... you were right on Friday, its annoying! (Maybe now he'll post more? -Ed)

Happy Birthday ... in real life! (Part Two)

2005-11-12T11:32:00.000Z

Well, now with the posters made it seems the right thing to do is display them. So we hung about at Paddington station, asking random people their birthday! We got a few (A lot -Ed) of people that just seemed to stare and wonderered what the hell was going on! I remember one man Pete and I asked, "I don't have a birthday, I was beamed down!". The people you meet are just amazing! Seeing as we didn't get much response at Paddinton, we decided to hop on to the tube and ask people on there! Now, this proved to be a much better idea! We found lots of chatty people, and even two people who shared Geoff's birthday!

Verifying the Driving License ID

So we stopped on the tube I guess for around 2 hours or so. Towards the end, we were getting quite brave, every time the train came into a new station, we swapped to the next carriage in a hope to get more people! We were even offering a "50p cash prize if you shared the same birthday!" On our travels, we bet plenty of enthuastic people, including this lady ... Close on 7.00 we were all exhausted and so we retired to the pub! We met up with Geoff's fellow tube challenger, Neil and went a pub somewhere near Holborn. And whilst Pete lost his travel card, we met up with these lovely ladies ... shame you missed them Pete! So, in the pub plenty of food was to be had, and the coke was flowing! We all needed that caffeine boost after a hard day at the office! Here, I also met Emma, Agent Buckinghamshire and some other quiet chappy! After food, we felt compelled to start on our song to advertise this whole thing (in the same way Danny Wallace promoted himself in his National Anthem). All of us chipping in with lyrics, the song is slowly taking shape! A few more meetings and the song should be together, my vote is we "do Birmingham" next!

"mmm...what rhymes with Constantinople?"

I left everyone just after 9.00 as my train back to Birmingham was 9.39. I was given one of the signs in a bid to ask people their birthdays, I hardly saw a soul on the train all the way back although the people I did see weren't very forthcoming! I eventually got back here for around 0.15. Exhausted, but a good day! Play it again Sam!

Happy Birthday ... in real life! (Part One)

2005-11-12T10:38:00.000Z

Yesterday, what a day! It was the day that I was going to meet Geoff and all other fellow agents on this birthday thing we are doing! After waking up at 8, I start to feel like an excited child! The journey to the station as boring as ever, until the place when our bus came to a mini roundabout. The driver slammed the anchors on, because of a van and some old lady went flying! (Quite literally! -Ed). Lots of people went to her aid, and some snotty cow demanded the drivers name and address! Now, if I had been bothered by the whole thing, I would have asked everyone their birthday but seeing as an old lady was hurt, this wasn't the time or place ... 1.01 pm - Arrived in Euston on time and made a dash for the tube station. Now, I did feel a tadge er apprehensive about the whole thing. I mean, I guess I was just concerned cos of all that had happened. But after checking my carriage for asian men in their 20's with rucksacks, I felt fine! Arriving at Marlyebone station, I phoned Geoff to learn he was running late, but that Special Agent K, would be on the concourse somewhere. I had already been informed of her hair, so she shouldn't be too hard to spot ...

Dig the hair!

Personally, I believe'd Geoff's lateness all a ploy, so that me and K. would chat and get to know one another, who knows?! 2.00 - The man himself arrives! First impression, well bugger me, you're taller than I thought! Quickly dashing to the nearest pub at the station, I meet up with two other folk, Chris Preswell, and er ... his mate! (Sorry, forgotten your name!). What struck me as funny, is that the friend didn't know what he was doing, or why he was there! A bit later on ... Agent Bedfordshire, Anthony (the man who wears a mask on the tube) and Pete arrive! Pete, what a sound guy and he made me laugh! Top people so far ... 4.00 - We decided to head for Paddington station, and we are here. We made it! Now, first stop is WHSmith, to make a new sign or two ... Firstly, Geoff needs to choose some suitable pink wrapping paper and whilst Geoff is doing that Philipa Gregory (aka Pete) poses for his book signing (Er ... sticker displaying! -Ed)

"Yea ... I want that one!" You can just about make out BOTSD sticker!

So, the sign is being made, all you need is some pink wrapping paper, pens, and a couple of discarded pieces of cardboard from the floor or WHSmith ...

Voila! One completed sign!

Come back for part two of this exciting installment ....

An ode to meeting people ... from the Internet!

2005-11-10T22:50:00.000Z

Well, its been a few days (nearly a week -Ed) and I haven't posted! Its just that nothing exciting has happened in the past week. Ok, there is something that happened last Friday night, but I don't know if I should be posted that or not, will seek permission from the future sister in law first! (He values his life -Ed). Tomorrow, I am off work, (yah!) to meet Geoff! He is the inspiration of my whole blog, and quite an interesting chappy really! (Photos from tomorrow's date to follow...) This all made me think though, of how many people have I actually met on the Internet. This doesn't include people I already knew, people I started chatting to (in the days of AOL) or emailed. Here goes ... Olivia Lake was my first. I met her in the days of AOL and for the first time back in 1996. We just happened to meet online because of a mutual interest or two. Our first "date" was back in December 1996. Now, I didn't know what she looked like, nor she knew what I looked like. I remember her telling me, "I'll be wearing a blue hat". Don't ask me why, but I was expecting a blue baseball cap! It turned out to me some blue fluffy girly thing! She came to New Street (Birmingham) and sometime later, I went to Leicester to meet her family. We're still in touch, we IM and email every now and then. She also has a blog ... Next came Maria Stacey. We met once or twice (possibly three times). The first time just after my cousin had a baby, back in March 1997. I guess we got on really well, but then she vanished from AOL. I did actually see her profile on Friends Reunited, sent a few emails, but she wasn't interested any more. Then er ... Lisa and Garland. Two different ladies, both very pleasant! They live in America! This is my shoker for people, I actually went to the States to meet them for my eighteeth! This is very useful, in a ice breaker when you have to say one item which is true and two lies, it always throws people off the scent! Lisa, as far as I am aware has re-married. Garland, we did loose touch, but recently got back in touch! Great news too that her daughter might be coming over here to study next year. Oh, did I mention, Lisa lived in Tennessee and Garland in Kentucky! They both drove hundreds of miles so we could meet each other ... Thanks guys , it means a lot! The summer of 1997 will always be a good memory for me! Er ... Samantha King came next! (He sure loves the ladies -Ed). I was only initially interested in Sam because she lives in Bristol, not far from where my mum grew up. Later, I established she is Deaf, so we had more in common. Later still I found out that she went to the same Deaf boarding school as Rebekah, Mary Hare. Still in touch, sending various SMS's or phone calls! Then Naomi Plowman, who came to our wedding. I stayed with her in Blackpool, back in the Autumn of 1999. Still in touch, and I'd consider her to be one of my closest "online meet up buddies". Er, Charlie Turrell. I met him in 2000 on the Deaf BSL march. We plan to meet up again soon, but who knows when, sorry Charlie! And finally, at number eight, its Geoff ... who knows who's next?! Geoff post to follow ....

Happy Birthday to me ...

2005-11-04T23:01:00.000Z

Today is my birthday! Do you like my badge? (He's lying -Ed). I guess this post is in fustration, it just seems at work we're being treated like 8 year olds! As from Monday we're not allowed to have "un-related work items" on our desk. No more Metro in sight, it has to be in my drawer! Bottles of water, on the floor and only one work related item on our desk at one time! This made me wonder, can I now actually send my post out? I mean, that means I'll technically have more than one peice of work on my desk at a time! Its our new "clear desktop policy". Bah, a tidy desk is an un-worked at desk! (And we all know the people who have them don't we?! -Ed)

Happy Birthday to me?

Should blind people be allowed to drive?

2005-11-02T12:33:00.000Z

Just a small entry today ... I've just been on the BBC News website and spotted this picture. I'm quite alarmed, it appears Blunkett is driving! Get the hell off the road people, this is a national emergency!

"Out of my way, I've got a date with Kimberly Quinn!"

Insurance Cover ... or lack of!

2005-10-31T20:44:00.000Z

Well, my advice is not to use Nationwide for your insurance cover. Let me explain why ...

I phoned them yesterday to clarify that my insurance started on the 26/09/05. This hasn't been done! Enquiring why, its because of "different postcodes on their system" and that they would need "both to sign" as it was linked to my mortgage. This was a blatent lie, the reason it was never setup is because when we popped into the branch, it was too early to setup and we would need to do it 4 weeks, before my existing policy finished. Because of the lack of insurance on my house due to their "cock up", I promptly told them that my wife wasn't going to leave my house! By a miracle she was able to change my postcode without us coming down. (mmm, can anyone smell fish -Ed!) After wasting half an hour of my life they assured me that "Nationwide would cover any loss, if something were to happen". On the ball, I asked her if her call was being recorded "oh yes, for security and training purposes". "Great", I told her, "if something does happen, you're being recorded and so am I so I can't be screwed either". I was also promised a call back by 5.00pm tomorrow to set up new insurance ... Watch this space! UPDATE: 01/11/05 - 12.48 No call yet ... roll on 5, I could use a row!

UPDATE: 01/11/05 - 15.27 Still waiting!

UPDATE: 01/11/05 - 17.27 Well, they didn't phone me (What a suprise! -Ed) so I've just phoned them! My insurance is now setup! I registered my complaint at the same time, and expecting a letter of appolgy! Gee, it makes me so mad! Well, if anyone who works for Nationwide is reading this Blog, you are all useless! Grrrr! .... ahh that feels bettter!

Happy Birthday Nige!

2005-10-29T19:54:00.000+01:00

Well, I feel ashamed!. My friend, (and frequent comment poster -Ed) Nigel, is celebrating his birthday today and I forgot. Well, I didn't exactly forget, I had other stuff on my mind and we had to go to our God daughter's 2nd birthday party too. Its only when he text me, "Happy birthday to meeee" did I remember. Well, not wanting to feel bad, today's blog is dedicated to Nigel! We worked together at Natwest many moons ago (1997) and at the time, we didn't really speak. Then, we got AOL, many chats later, we are still in touch. Although, we've since moved on, kicked AOL to touch, we now use Microsoft and good old MSN! (Er, is this a good thing -Ed). Back to the point, over various chats, Nigel has sent me various photos of himself, so all in the spirit of a good laugh, here's Nigel's best bits (to quote Davina)...

(Such a cutie -Ed's wife)

(Dig those socks! -Ed)

(Still a cutie -Ed's wife)

So there you have it, Happy Birthday Nige!

Sleepy Head

2005-10-27T11:42:00.000+01:00

Alarm clocks, what a great invention! (When they work! -Ed) This morning I over slept with my alarm clock going off at 6.44. I still managed to be waiting for the bus outside by house for 6.52! Is this a new record? Should I be contacting Norris McWhirter?

Four coffees later, I am starting to wake up. I think I am forced to pass the blame on to this crazy idea I got myself involved with. I was swamped with emails from various other people involved in the project and just felt compelled to reply to the emails. I am sure I'll get home and find even more emails, so this could be a late night (again)! Maybe I should do some work on my Open University, like I should. One hour is better than nothing ... UPDATE: 29/10/05 - 20.19 (Thanks Nige.) Just found out that Norris McWhirter is dead! Where have I been since he died?! Anyway, who does his job now? Does anyone know? I always wanted his job as a kid whilst watching Record Breakers!

V is for ....

2005-10-24T21:54:00.000+01:00

Well, as you probably all read in the comments, Nige spotted the error I was referring to. The lack of "V" in my home made BSL chart, so just for the record, here is how you would sign 'V'. Unfortunatelly, for Nige I did lie about the prize! Money is tight, and Christmas is coming. (Don't remind me -Ed) so all I can give you Nige is the knowledge of how to produce the letter V in British Sign Language. (Think we got out of that one -Ed) On a completely different subject, don't forget the clocks go back on Saturday night. All is not lost though, we gain an hours extra sleep in bed! (Hoorah! -Ed)

Spot the error ...

2005-10-23T21:30:00.000+01:00

Doh! Just reading through my blog entries, like you do, and I've spotted an error! A prize will be awarded to the person who finds this error. (Lies -Ed)

Now I feel silly!

"What is it like to hear a hand?"

2005-10-22T17:30:00.000+01:00

Greetings, I'm back once again! Spurred on by Geoff's blog I have decided to post the entire BSL (British Sign Language) alphabet! Now I am sure you've learnt it all before at brownies (even you Geoff) but I thought I would post it for you all to practice for when you meet the wife or another Deaf person!

When's your birthday then?

2005-10-20T17:28:00.000+01:00

I have decided to post once again! Slowly this is becoming fun and less of a chore like I thought it might become! The comments are coming in slowly, so that's great, in fact I have a good chuckle when people respond to the things I write! Thanks guys, keep them coming!

Anyway, in line with the subject line (and being a faithful Agent to Geoff and Pete) I thought I would advertise the following website. Now I am sorry, if you've already received a text from me about it, but I am sure you are curious to why I text you, well fear not, click on the link below and all will be revealed!

When is your birthday?

5 a day - but is it possible?

2005-10-18T17:46:00.000+01:00

Well, I've been away for a few days, but come back to post again! The comments are slowly coming in, which is good but I want more! Its not that I am greedy but your comments do make me chuckle through the day! Anyway, today's point ... Doctors (and other clever people) say you "must eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day". I keep on asking myself though, is this feat possible?

5 a day is just impossible!

I have had this debate with my mother in law on many occasions, and she insists that it is, but how?! That would mean we would need to have "sensible" meals, every day of the week and eat fruit for lunch! To make matters worse, a friend told me that even if I eat 1 or 100 apples, it still only counts as one portion of fruit and veg.! I am telling you that its just impossible. Until they make chocolate a fruit, I am never gonna manage it! (Maybe a "Fruit and Nut" bar counts? -Ed) Oh and even though, they grow in the ground and should be classed as such, a potato is "not a vegetable"! I really think she is making this up as she goes along!

So, do you eat your 5 a day? Any advice to fellow readers (even me - Ed) of how I am supposed to achieve such a feat!

It gets earlier every year

2005-10-16T08:25:00.000+01:00

Well, they say it gets closer every year and it really is getting to be upon us. (Have you looked in the shops?) No, I am not talking about payday (which is tomorrow), I am talking about Christmas! Only 69 days to go. You might want to take a look at this which I found to be quite useful. As Christmas is coming quicker than ever, I celebrated the fact with a couple of last years mince pies!

mmm...mince pies

So, how are you celebrating Christmas coming earlier than ever this year? Have you got your Christmas tree up yet? Have you finished your Christmas shopping? Cooked the turkey? ... UPDATE: 29/10/05 - 23.36 All my mince pies from last year have now been eaten

Parental Guidance - Explicit Cat Material

2005-10-15T18:33:00.000+01:00

Welcome, its day two and I am still here! Before I blog on, I would like to thank the people who have left comments on the blog ... please keep them coming, it makes me feel wanted, and special ... So far the weekend has been fairly lazy although a little excitement this morning! Busy chatting with my mother on the phone and I am greeted by my cat, with something in his mouth. I look, and look again ... (Vegetarians avert your eyes if needs must ... it was a dead pigeon!)

"Look what I found ... a pigeon, and I killed it!"

Trying to get rid of my mother off the phone (Sorry, no offence there mum) I rushed for digital camera, thus taking photos of the cat and said bird ... Then, the next job, International Rescue (well not quite) I woke Rebekah. Down the stairs she came, saying to me, "...this better be good"! Well, lets put it this way, she wasn't disappointed! After shooing Kerfuffle (the cat) into the garden, the next job was to get rid of the bird, without contracting bird flu! Now, if this blog goes quiet in a few days, its either cos I have lost interest in the blog (possible) or I have contracted bird flu and died (remotely possible). Back to the point ... having no rubber disposable gloves (insert your own joke in here) we made do with two sandwich bags inside out and a Sainsburys shopping bag! Now, the bird is inside the tied up bag, inside of my sack for the rubbish Monday morning (around 4am). Now if you like pigeon pie and are all out of pigeons, you are welcome to rumage through my rubbish, but please put the sack where you found out, otherwise they won't collect our rubbish and we'll be stuck with it for another week! On that pleasant note, I will leave you for another day (or two -Ed). We did try and think of a name for our pigeon friend but to no avail. If you can think of a name, feel free to leave it in the comments ...

Welcome one and all ...

2005-10-14T19:27:00.000+01:00

Here goes nothing! Welcome to my new blog! I don't know how this will pan out, but it should be interesting! My blog should give me the chance to blast my opinons on life, work or anything else that happens to be annoying me at the time! I'll be back... (to coin a phrase!)